After Sex Cuddles
Check out this “My After Sex Buddy” commercial. It’s pretty entertaining even if the “men don’t cuddle” stereotype is a little hackneyed. The truth is, I’ve never been with a man who didn’t snuggle (or at least sleep tangled up) after sex, having grown up in the land of single mother reared, sensitive-new-age men. But I guess they still exist as exhibited here:
Now, if I were to cozy up to a microwavable snuggle toy (yes, this doughboy heats up), my reasoning would simply be that cuddle toys don’t sweat or smother me. As I’ve mentioned before, I usually spoon my darling husband for approximately three minutes before rolling over to sleep. That is the amount of time it takes before he grows dewy and I need to retreat. My man, on the other hand, would happily sleep nestled in a snuggle fest, AKA: asphyxiating me with his bicep and slowing the blood flow to my extremities with his tree trunk legs draped over my relative twigs.
What I do bemoan about his post-coital state is the insta-sleep reflex. Whereas he usually passes out in 2.5 seconds, after nookie he has a steady 1.5 narcoleptic drop off rate. This I envy. But the solution doesn’t seem to be a novelty snuggle toy, for I want to sleep, too, not spoon. I suppose there’s always red wine and Ambien. Too bad that sounds a little less novelty, and a little more neurosis.
Alas, I’d happily pick the narcotics. Hubby can keep the cuddle toy.